I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I had to cum in my sink.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
