no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
