Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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