I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
