he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
