like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
