..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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