i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
