I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
