As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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