She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
