I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
