gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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