chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize