god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
