i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
