so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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