So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
