fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Vodka?
Forever.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
