You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
