it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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