you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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