Whoa Z and x make the same sound
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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