After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
