so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize