guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
