My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
