I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
