Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
