In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
