If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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