And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize