He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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