Kiss
Puke
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just want nice things and good sex
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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