You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
