It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
