I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
