Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
