if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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