You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
