please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
