So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
