i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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