when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
