so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
