Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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