I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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