I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
