xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
