Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
