Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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