try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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