I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize