Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
