You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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