ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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