oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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