sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
