No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
