Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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