The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
you never un-have a 4some
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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