cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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