its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
