I molested 6 butterflies tonight
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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