summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
