never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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