How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
