Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
