Are we in a gay sports bar?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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