Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
