Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
