dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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