You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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