I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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