I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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