I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
