I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
