a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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