i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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