I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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