I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
