return my video game
I could have mohawked her pubes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
